Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 7: It's A Fight of Wit Against Whit...ney

Day 7 - Thursday, April 8th 2010

That's right! You get two episodes today! Last time, we entered Goldenrod City, and prepared for Whitney's gym, and guess what? DIDN'T FIND A POLIWAG.

So, I entered Whitney's gym, which looks so threatening with its pinkness and its cuteness. It kind of reminded me of Cutopia from MySims Kingdom. The first trainer has two Meowths (again, showing SS exclusives... EVIL), and goes down easily. The second trainer has 3 Senterts, two of which go down easily to Vine Whip from Sprout. I go back to heal, and Trainer #3 had Snubbull. Go figure the only trainer with one Pokemon is the hardest one yet.

It wipes out three of my four team members (okay, actually four out of five, but I don't consider Toga a team member). I go back to heal and get more bewwyz from Mom, and the last trainer has 3 Jigglypuffs, who go down easily. I heal again, then prepare to battle Whitney.

She only has two Pokemon, and her first out is Clefairy. It's kinda uncooperative, but it's okay. After I defeat it, she turns into Miley Cyrus, saying "Wow, you're strong... but I ain't losin', ya herr?".

She busts out Miltank, who... completely wipes out the entire team. Even with using Togepi as death fodder and 6 potions, I still lost. Thus marks the second loss of the game. I heal, and go back to try again.

Once again, Clefairy goes down in one Flame Wheel, but it's this Miltank that's a complete biatch to kill. Flame Wheel is the strongest move against it, and even then it only does, like, 9 HP. After everyone but Bernard is killed (Bernard is left with 2 freaking HP), I get in one last ditch effort with Tackle, and just barely manage to kill it. Thank Jesus.

And... what? NO BADGE!? She just goes, "Whaaa! Whaa! Snivel, hic. You meanie."

What's a snivel hic? Is it a Gen V Pokemon? I dunno. Some kid that I... don't know says, "Oh, no, you made Whitney cry. It's okay. She'll stop." Then she gives me the Plain Badge. Sure as fudge wasn't a plain battle. I'd like to kick that Miltank in its non-existent balls.

She also gives me Attract. Well, about freakin' time I get a good move for Sprout. Sprout needs a good move, and now it has 4... moves. And, I get a Repel from Mom. Only downside is that I used a Paralyze Heal during the battle.

After healing, I go on to Route 35 and fight a few trainers, including a weird couple. The boy says "I wanna show my girlfriend my stuff". And the girl says, "My boyfriend is weak, so I can't rely on him." You're kinda right next to each other. '

The girl's Pikachu paralyzes Bernard (woulda been nice to have that Heal back), but I push on to National Park. A random girl there gives me Quick Claw. There's nothing but Hoothoots in the grass, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, POLIWAG TOTALLY ISN'T COMMON OR ANYTHING. I go the opposite way and find the Pokeathlon Dome. Don't feel like going in there, but I just listen to a guy named Magnus ramble on, and he has a... POLIWRATH. I hate him already.

So, that's the end of Episode 7. Really short, I know, but, hey... those who call the kettle black and there's no I in team. Yay for Ellen DeGeneres references. (How is Yay not a word, gut DeGeneres is?)

Game Time so far: 7 hours, 36 minutes
Thanks for reading!