Super Mario Sunshine: The Ridiculousness Continues

I'm sure you all know by now (probably not) that Super Mario Sunshine is the Game Topic of the Month for December. There probably will be more Sunshine blogs after December, but only time shall tell.

This blog is about the ridiculousness of Sunshine. I've already covered the fact that Yoshi tosses his cookies on beehives to piss off the residents, but there's much more ridiculosity to be had in this ridiculiciousness-filled game.
First of all, half the shines in the game are completely irrelevant. The whole town is in danger because the Shine Sprites are missing, and yet a bunch of people are hording them. Why do they need them? Do they get high off of them? Those stupid raccoons have 24 of them, that guy in the plaza has two if you smash a bunch of boxes for his pleasure, one guy refuses to throw you into the tower with the Shine unless you pay him, and about eight of them won't give you them unless you either complete a dumb minigame or beat a time limit.
Now, I know that it's a videogame and it doesn't have to make sense, but in reality, can't these people be arrested for treason?

Then, there's the fact that people ask you to go shoplift fruit from the shops to get them one freaking blue coin. Then, there's that guy stuck on the island a few meters away from the isle that says he can't swim when two boats pass right by the island on a regular basis.
Also, there's the fact that Eely Mouth's poisonous teeth poison only the surface of the water, but where it is located is just fine, and you clean off his teeth (which are poisoning water)...with WATER!
Also, in Sirena Beach, why do I need swim trunks to enter water that is three freaking inches deep? Also, how can Yoshi not die in the five-inch-deep water in the fountain in the plaza, but can by being sprayed with water? And how can Shadow Mario jump through the water if water hurts him?
And, I guess I won't beat a dead horse and ask why Petey Piranha melts into chocolate twice. But the biggest peeve about this game that I don't get is...one of the most frustrating missions for me a few years back in that game was the balloon one on the roller coaster in Pinna Park. After shooting all of them...

WHY DO THEY COME BACK!?

But, seriously, this game's good. Just has a lot of inconcistencies.