Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 9: Bugging Woody

Day 9 (same day as 8): Saturday, April 24th 2010

Generic title is generic. Ninth episode is the ninth. Crappy sentences are crappy. OK, I'll stop, OK... or... what?

Whatever. Last time, we caught a Ditto, as well as two new team members: Ned (male Nidoran) and Barbara (female Nidoran), who will soon have little Nidoranese babies... or something. Then, I entered the Bug Catching Contest. Time to continue that.

I was lucky I did this on Saturday (episode 10 will be on a Saturday so I can catch more stuff here), so the BCC was in action. I had 20 minutes, but I was on a mission. A mission to find and catch one Pokemon in particular: Venonat. Guess what? I found it within a minute and catch it within 3 Sport Balls. It's a Level 14, and I... couldn't name it Luna like Bikdip did, so to make a reference to someone he talks about, I named it Harrison, who has a Rash nature, "often dozes off" (I hope that won't present a problem), and had Foresight, Supersonic, Confusion, and PoisonPowder.

I fight a random trainer on Route 35, then try to find out how to get rid of the Pokemon-like moving tree on Route 36. I thought they were gonna make me catch a Water type and learn Water Gun. But, nope. After some backtracking to Goldenrod City, I went into the Flower Shop, and the gal there gives me the Squirtbottle (which is totally one word). Kinda makes me think I should've explored this place a little more thoroughly before.

I go back to Route 36, spray it with the bottle, and as I expected, it's... a Sudowoodo! Level 20, that is. After a good six-minute tackle/ember back-and-forth, I catch it and name it Woody. And I also get Berry Pots from the kid near the Sudowoodo, as well as about sixty-five berries. I don't know what I'll use those for, but eh. The kid tells me to go North to... some place I forget the name of. So I do, and go into the forest... place. I'm running out of Pokeballs, so if I have any random encounters, I'll have to ignore it. At the beginning of the next episode, I'll have to remember to go back and buy a few.

I go onto Route 37, but don't feel like fighting any more trainers, so I go to the blocked-off-I-think place and get the Rock Smash HM, which I teach to Dwayne. The kid who gave it to me said it'd be useful in Violet City. I look around and find one rock to smash and it leads to... nothing. Thanks, fat kid.

I find the blue, yellow, and red shards in the Ruins of Alph, and smash like three rocks. It says to explore, but I... can't go anywhere. I dunno. Until I have some more clues, that place can just go screw itself. I go back to heal, back to Route 37, then save the game, and decide to end the episode there because Ruins of Alph is confusing the poop out of me.

That's it for Episode 9! Ep. 10 will hopefully be up on Saturday! We'll be catching some more stuff for the Pokedex and fighting some trainers on Route 37, as well as getting a few extra Pokeballs.

Game Time so far: 9 hours, 18 minutes
Thanks for reading!

Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 8: Now That's What I Like to Call Progress!

Day 8 (and 9) - Saturday, April 24th 2010

As you may or perhaps not know, originally, I planned for there to be four episodes of this in one day. But, on the same day that I played these, I confirmed a YouTube account, which I've been waiting to have for awhile now. The four episodes were supposed to be a celebration for reaching 2,000 tweets on Twitter, but I think, at least for me, the YouTube thing is enough of a "celebration". (I will definitely post some stuff about that when it's up and running) So, you only get two. Sorry.

Anyways, welcome back to HeartGold! I went on Bulbapedia a couple days ago and found potential team members for the future, all of which are common in the areas they can be found:
Mankey (Route 9 and 42)
Pikachu (Route 2 and Viridian Forest)
Diglett (Diglett Cave and Route 48)
I think I may have already passed Route 42 (I think I saw it when I was doing my enormous trek back to Professor Elm), but I'm not backtracking that far right now. I'm gonna find a Flying slave (Howl-Owl will probably be the candidate for that) so I can fly around and get places faster.

So, yeah. After about two and a half weeks of blowing this game off, it was time to finally kick it back into gear. I got 3 potions from the Pokewalker during the break, and they were immediately sent to my inventory. So, in this episode, we'll just be continuing on Route 35.

The last trainers I fought were a boyfriend/girlfriend couple, and I think I dodged a fire...man... thing. Flameburners, I think they're called? Something like that? I dunno. Anyways, I run into him, and HOLY CRAP HE HAS A MAGMAR.
....Why? Why does he have a Magmar? Well, it goes down within one Rock Throw from Dwayne, then... oh my God. He has two? Why does he have two? More importantly, why are they, like Level 20? (I guess I'm used to seeing like Level 78 Pokemon because of BikdipOnABus's LP of a FireRed hack, which he's very far into - 83 episodes, to be exact). Whatever. The second one goes down with 2 Rock Throws, and the flame...guy is defeated-ed.

I fight another trainer that isn't worth noting, then decide to twitch around in the grass a bit and find... a male Nidoran? Uh... okay, I'll take it. Anything to get Toga off my team. It's a Level 12, and as always I use Tackle instead of my usual Flame Wheel tactics so it doesn't go down too easily, and I catch it! I name it Ned (I was gonna name it, like... Sandwich or something, but, meh), and it's added to my team, then find a Paralyze Heal.

After that, I catch a Level 10 Ditto. Holy crap. Why am I catching so much stuff? Whatever. I name it Splat, and it's transferred to the PC automatically (first time for the run). After that, I... CATCH A FEMALE NIDORAN? Seriously, is the game taking pity on me now? Whatever, I name it Barbara (pronounced bar-bar-uh, not bar-bra), go to a Pokemon Center to heal, then put Toga in the PC. So, now my team consists of Bernard, Dwayne, Sprout, Dwayne, Ned, and Barbara. I look at Ned's thingies and see he is "capable of taking hits" with a Gentle nature. Doesn't make sense to me. I guess it's possible to be sturdy and non-violent in RPGs, but it's a rare occurance.

I decide to take a break from fighting and go over to the Pokeathlon Dome. I'm over not finding a Poliwag (I mean, I found everything else), so I don't hate the guy who runs it anymore. I go in there, and... Whitney, what the fudge are you doing here? I thought I made you cry. Oh, God, don't make me fight that freaking Miltank again. Okay, good. So, I change into... what looks like your normal wardrobe in Sapphire, then go into the Speed test with my three fastest Pokemon: Bernard, Dwayne, and newly-acquired Ned.

I didn't bother seeing what Pokemon the other contestants had, but one of them had... a freaking TEDDIURSA. THEY... MUST... DIE! I didn't like them at all, but here's the results:
Challenge 1: 1st place
Challenge 2: Last place
Finals: 3rd place
I got last place overall, and the lady outside said good job and to come again. Uh, yeah, FAT CHANCE OF THAT.

I decide to go to the National Park, and find nothing of interest, then go on to the only place so far I haven't visited: Route 36. There's a "weird tree" there, and a random guy who says if I spray water on it, it'll move, and it just has to be a Pokemon. It is, I know, but I don't know how to get it... oh, well. I unintentionally run into a trainer who has a Tangela... who is unTANGIble (that wasn't funny). It takes forever to kill, but after, I kid you not, 25 minutes, Sprout learns Wrap... and no one levels up.

I fight three trainers in the National Park who have: Voltorb, Oddish, Oddish again, Cubone, and Raichu. Basically everything I don't have that would be cool to have (especially Raichu *points at potential members list*). After healing, I go into the little "in-between building" thingies and talk to the guy and prepare to enter...






...the Bug Catching Contest.

What, were you looking for something amazing? Too bad.

I don't have a game time for this, since I just did this as one straight episode with no saving. But, that's the episode of Episode 8! See you next time for the Bug catching Contest and more Route 36 wonderment.

Thanks for reading!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Pokemon LP News

Sorry for anybody who looks forward to my Pokemon HeartGold LP entries, if there are any. If you haven't seen my Twitter, there's just been stuff happening, and I did plan to put two up today, but I think I'll go for 4 tomorrow.

So, again, sorry if you were looking forward to Episode 8. Episodes 8 - 11 will hopefully up tomorrow to make up for the hiatus.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 7: It's A Fight of Wit Against Whit...ney

Day 7 - Thursday, April 8th 2010

That's right! You get two episodes today! Last time, we entered Goldenrod City, and prepared for Whitney's gym, and guess what? DIDN'T FIND A POLIWAG.

So, I entered Whitney's gym, which looks so threatening with its pinkness and its cuteness. It kind of reminded me of Cutopia from MySims Kingdom. The first trainer has two Meowths (again, showing SS exclusives... EVIL), and goes down easily. The second trainer has 3 Senterts, two of which go down easily to Vine Whip from Sprout. I go back to heal, and Trainer #3 had Snubbull. Go figure the only trainer with one Pokemon is the hardest one yet.

It wipes out three of my four team members (okay, actually four out of five, but I don't consider Toga a team member). I go back to heal and get more bewwyz from Mom, and the last trainer has 3 Jigglypuffs, who go down easily. I heal again, then prepare to battle Whitney.

She only has two Pokemon, and her first out is Clefairy. It's kinda uncooperative, but it's okay. After I defeat it, she turns into Miley Cyrus, saying "Wow, you're strong... but I ain't losin', ya herr?".

She busts out Miltank, who... completely wipes out the entire team. Even with using Togepi as death fodder and 6 potions, I still lost. Thus marks the second loss of the game. I heal, and go back to try again.

Once again, Clefairy goes down in one Flame Wheel, but it's this Miltank that's a complete biatch to kill. Flame Wheel is the strongest move against it, and even then it only does, like, 9 HP. After everyone but Bernard is killed (Bernard is left with 2 freaking HP), I get in one last ditch effort with Tackle, and just barely manage to kill it. Thank Jesus.

And... what? NO BADGE!? She just goes, "Whaaa! Whaa! Snivel, hic. You meanie."

What's a snivel hic? Is it a Gen V Pokemon? I dunno. Some kid that I... don't know says, "Oh, no, you made Whitney cry. It's okay. She'll stop." Then she gives me the Plain Badge. Sure as fudge wasn't a plain battle. I'd like to kick that Miltank in its non-existent balls.

She also gives me Attract. Well, about freakin' time I get a good move for Sprout. Sprout needs a good move, and now it has 4... moves. And, I get a Repel from Mom. Only downside is that I used a Paralyze Heal during the battle.

After healing, I go on to Route 35 and fight a few trainers, including a weird couple. The boy says "I wanna show my girlfriend my stuff". And the girl says, "My boyfriend is weak, so I can't rely on him." You're kinda right next to each other. '

The girl's Pikachu paralyzes Bernard (woulda been nice to have that Heal back), but I push on to National Park. A random girl there gives me Quick Claw. There's nothing but Hoothoots in the grass, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, POLIWAG TOTALLY ISN'T COMMON OR ANYTHING. I go the opposite way and find the Pokeathlon Dome. Don't feel like going in there, but I just listen to a guy named Magnus ramble on, and he has a... POLIWRATH. I hate him already.

So, that's the end of Episode 7. Really short, I know, but, hey... those who call the kettle black and there's no I in team. Yay for Ellen DeGeneres references. (How is Yay not a word, gut DeGeneres is?)

Game Time so far: 7 hours, 36 minutes
Thanks for reading!

Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 6: The Golden Age in Goldenrod

Day 6 - Wednesday, April 7th 2010

Welcome back to Pokemon HeartGold! I've been kinda lazy with updates, but guess what? You get two episodes today! So, you can be happy about that much, I guess.

So, last time, I loathed the fact that I can't find a Poliwag anywhere, then found Far and Fetch'd in Ilex Forest. I finally got through the "maze" of Ilex Forest, and towards the end, there was that Asian lady who was turned on by the fact that I had an egg a couple episodes ago (by a couple, I mean like two). She says she can't find the way out (the door to the exit is on the very next screen), so Bernard gets rid of her. Good boy! You get a tasty invisible treat that doesn't exist!

I escape into Route 34, and the strangely large amount of grass intrigues me to try and found Poliwag, since it's everywhere according to Bulbapedia and Serebii and all the other Pokemon location sites I can find. Nope, just Drowzees and Abras. And Rattatas. Wouldn't be a Pokemon route without Rattatas.

A random trainer on Route 34 has an Abra and a Mareep. I kill them. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

I come out of Rt. 34 and see Lyra, and her grampapa, who is the leader of the day care... thing. Oh, and her granmama, who is the secondary leader of the day care... thing. Her granmama calls me her "boy...friend", and Lyra completely goes against it. This is one of those times where you gotta wonder what this dialogue would be like if your character was female. Maybe it just stays the same and they expect that when you're a female Pokemon trainer, you're a tranny? I don't know! But, whatever, Lyra gives me her phone number (coulda done that at the beginning of the frikkin' game), then I get her grahamparrents' tellyfone nummers. They're called "Day Care Man" and "Day Care Lady". Hmm... creative?

So, I keep walking after that pointless scene, and a cop comes up to me and battles me with a Level 17 Growlithe. Huh. So, I ju-- wait. A GROWLITHE!? Why do all the trainers in this game have Pokemon that I want, should be able to find, but can never seem to find for whatever reason? Whatever, it finishes Sprout, Howl-Owl, and Dwayne (they're making it very difficult to level them up), and Bernard kills it off. Dwayne, however, reaches Level 11, forgets Rock Polish, and learns Rock Throw (having only one damaging move and it being Attack is really stupid).

Mom calls with another item, so that gives me even more incentive to find a town. I find an Embargo TM, and give it to Howl-Owl to hold. Then, I enter Goldenrod City, which looks... fairly awesome, I must say. Especially at night. I play this game mostly at night anyway, so that made it extra... flavory.

I heal, then find the not a PokeMart. It's a department store, but whatever. You still buy crap there. My mommeh brought me Colbur Berries. Gee, thaaaanks. I actually don't know what they do, but they're all liek spikky and shiz, so they're cool.

I go into the Radio Tower, where Whitney is. If it weren't for BikdipOnABus's SoulSilver walkthrough, I wouldn't know that she would later be a gym leader. But, whatever. I play a stupid quiz that I win completely on luck, then get a radio card that I don't know what it does yet. But somehow me getting it triggers Whitney to TELEPORT to... her gym.

After that, I took a shower and went to bed. And then, I talked to a guy in the Bike Shop, who said he'd give me a bike, then said, "Oh, yeah, it's in Cerulean, and you can ride it there to advertise." Advertise? How does just riding a bike advertise? It's like people go, "Oh, look, there is a boy on a bike. I do not have one. Because a boy is riding a bike, I must purchase a bike."

I look ahead to Route 35 and inadvertently fight a trainer, which grows Howl-Owl to Level 9, and he forgets Foresight (fore shore) and learns Peck. Great, six episodes and nine levels in, and my Flying Type just learned his first Flying move. Great game.

I get some more berries from Mom, fight a Route 35 trainer with 2 Digletts and a Zubat, then head back to Route 34 to fight some Drowzees to (not) level up.

Then, I prepare myself... for Whitney's gym.

That's all for now! Episode 7 will be up today as well!

Game Time so far: I didn't check for game time. Sorry.
Thanks for reading!

Sexual Undertones in Games

(Yes, Episode 6 of HeartGold will be up later today. I've had some trouble getting everything together, and plus I've just been lazy.)

Anyways, this Blog is about sexual undertones in games - specifically older games. There are examples of this in many older games, such as Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko. In one of the levels, there's a sign on a wall that says, "No Premarital Gex". Really? The worst part of this is that I actually thought it said "sex" instead of "Gex", because the G looked like an S.

Another example is in Banjo-Tooie. In Jolly Rodger's Lagoon, there's a place called Pawno's emporium. At the end of the game during the quiz show, there is a question of "What does Boggy do when he's home alone?", and one of the multiple choice answers is "He reads pawn magazines".

You can't do that.

Gex games have been overflowing with sexual undertones since the day the series was made. Mostly by his lines, such as, "And this week, another episode of Touched By An Uncle".

Another example would be in Pokemon FireRed, where a girl trainer says, "Are you trying to touch me?" before a battle, or another girl saying, "I think you're coming on to me." Clearly, the dialogue in those games is written for the male character.

So, yeah. There's your glimpse back to the late 90's when you could still have a game be rated E, but still have references to boobs (yeah, I know, I didn't mention boobs in this one, but they did mention them in some game that I can't remember).

Friday, April 2, 2010

Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold, Episode 5: Derrick and the Farfetch'd Bug Types

Day 5 - Friday, April 2nd 2010

Welcome back to more Let's Play Pokemon HeartGold! I got the clip thing on the Pokewalker working, so I walked around a bit, then got tired, then I just did it the cheap way and put it on my sock, and I'm currently wiggling my foot up and down. At least I haven't built a machine to do it for me or anything. Least I'm actually moving.

Anyways, last time we did... absolutely nothing. We hatched an egg, failed at a battle, fought a random bug trainer, backtracked to the beginning of the effing game and then back again, and... that's about it.

So, after changing my clothes after washing the cars out front, I turn on the game and get a Potion from the Pokewalker. I really want to fight Derrick again now that I know what the first two of his three Pokemon are, but I decide if I'm gonna level up any of my Pokemon first, I'mma do it in style. I go into the Bug Gym.

I go across the very annoying two-part spider and lever platform thingus again and fight the second trainer of the gym. He brings out a Weedle and a Kakuna, which both are obliterated by a single Ember from Bernard (once again, I kinda hate how he's getting all the glory here, but meh), and the only interesting thing he has is a Beedrill, which takes SLIGHTLY longer to kill, but s'all good. Bernard grows to Level 20 and wants to learn Flame Wheel.

"Would you like to learn Flame Wheel?" SWEET JESUS YES! I forget Leer (it is a defense-lowering move, and it's been helpful, but I need more than one fire type move, it has the same PP as Ember, and SmokeScreen is still more useful). So, new move acquired, hooray!

I go on to what I think are the Kimono twins, I'm not sure. I just thought any little girl twins in Pokemon games were Kimono twins, but apparently there are THE Kimono twins, so I'm not entirely sure. But, they actually do pose an interesting battle, and a chance to level up Howl-Owl. They send out both a Ledyba and a Spinarak (they're really going all-out with the taunting you with SoulSilver version exclusives thing). Bernard uses Ember on Spinarak and kills it, and Hypnosis decides to not be a douche and miss, and Howl-Owl puts the Ledyba to sleep. Once asleep, Howl-Owl stands idle and Bernard torches it with a Flame Wheel (I really like the animation for that move). And the what-I-think-are-the-Kimono twins are down!

That's all the trainers for the gym, so I decide to go and heal and restore some PP (Howl-Owl lost 10 HP to the Spinarak and Bernard lost 6 HP to the Beedrill), then come back and fight Bugsy, the Bug Gym leader.

He starts out with a Level 17 Scyther, which gives me the wrong idea that this guy is gonna be a challenge. Scyther's quick attack does get in a fair amount of damage on Bernard because of a critical, so once it's down, I decide to level up the rest. First, it's Geodude against a Metapod. I'd fought thousands of Metapods on my trek to Elm last episode, but this one was a decently respectable level. I send out Geodude to try and get a few Tackles, which does like... a half HP. Once Dwayne is down to 5 HP, I switch to Sprout, who gets killed immediately, then Howl-Owl to try and put it to sleep. None of my attempts work, so I send Bernard back out and kill it in one hit. Y'know, guys, I'm trying to help you be all tough, and you're making it very difficult.

The last team member Bugsy sends out is Kakuna, who's kileld by one criticalled Ember. Bernard is raised to Level 21, and Sprout is raised to Level 9 (everyone but Bernard gets 50 exp. points - Bernard gets 230). Bugsy bows to me and gives the U-turn TM that I don't know if I'll ever use, and the Hive Badge! Hooray!

After that, I save the game and take a potty break after healing. Then, I prepare to fight Derrick.

I didn't actually level up my team (aside from the Bug Gym), so I was taking a huge risk going into the fight with little level difference... but now I had Flame Wheel. So, I go to the building and Derrick spots me. He sends out his Gastly which is killed by Flame Wheel. He then sends out that son of a beesting Croconaw. Bernard got 30 HP taken away by a critical, so I sent in Howl-Owl, who gets killed, then Dwayne, who gets killed. The Croconaw during this time only loses about 10 HP. Sprout goes in (originally planned as death fodder) and gets in a few Vine Whips, which slowly muddle him down in HP (mid-yellow zone), because he's stupid and keeps suing Scary Face. I'm lucky that I got in three Vine Whips, 'cause I thought it would only be two because of one usage of Bite, but Sprout was a trooper and held on with 1 HP. I healed Bernard to full health, then sent him back in and torched Croconaw twice with a Flame Wheel.

Bernard still took another decent hit, but last up was Zubat. Zubat goes down in one Flame Wheel (man, Bernard is kicking some buttocks), and Derricks gets all pissy and leaves. Bernard grows to Level 22, and everyone else gets 12 experience points... even Sprout. Why? I don't know. I think Sprout should've leveled up - he was very helpful! But, whatever. That's just the way the cookie crumbles, I guess. Definitely went to heal after that, then went into the building to find it was... Ilex Forest. Interesting.

I talked to a guy that I thought would be a trainer, but wasn't. He was caring for his boss's two Farfetch'ds and they got lost in the dark woods. There was this puzzle where there's different rows of trees and sticks that you step on to make noise (they really sound like someone shaking a cereal box full of glass), and you have to butt rape them to catch them. After about six years, I catch both of them, and the boss comes over and says, "You found Far and Fetch'd!" That'd be a weird line if it were Hoothoot. Then, he gives me... the Cut HM! Very useful indeed! I do remember places where I can backtrack and use Cut to get to some items and maybe new Pokemon, but right now, "backtrack" is the word from hell for me.

So, I give Cut to Sprout (could've given it to Bernard, but he's an egotistical attention whore anyway, so yeahz), and with said Cut move, I manage to find an X Attack and a revive. I go back to the Pokemon Center to heal (not sure why, I didn't take any damage from the 8,000 encounters), then head back to Ilex Forest and save the game.

That's the end of Episode 5! Next time, we might backtrack to other areas and use the new Cut move to find some shiz, and continue our way through Ilex Forest! Funny, last time I played for about an hour and a half and got nothing done. Here I played for about half that time and got a bunch done.

I do have some team members in mind. Some people on Neoseeker are offering to give me some SoulSilver exclusives (Ledyba, Teddiursa, and Vulpix) for free, and I know that Poliwag can be found in Violet City and Cacturne can be found in the Safari Zone. I'll probably be going back to Violet City at some point to look for Poliwag or Poliwhirl, since they're both very helpful.

Game Time so far: 5 hrs, 18 mins
Thanks for reading!